Management Lesson

Waiting for a salary raise

Software Engineer Life

Naanum oru Software Engineer

Indian Cricket team new captain

India la motham 20 stadium irrukku..
60 curator irrkaanga !
1000 Players irrukkaanga!
Adhula men 860 women 140
Varushatthukku 45 match aadarom!
Aathanaiyum thokkarom! Enna Podhumaa???
Naan dhaan da pudhu captain!!
Match nadkkara edathukellam naan varuven!
ippo captain anathe latenu naa ninaikiren.
Puyal adichu kooda india thothu iruku
naa adichu India thothathe illa.

Indru sirru Thathuvams

Sirpi Kalla Uliyaala adicha that is "Kalai" But
Namma Sirpiya Uliyaala adicha that is "Kolai"

Railway Stationla Police Station irukkum But
Police Stationla railway station irukkathu

Yevalavu Dan Neechal Therinjalum
Tumler thannila Neentha Mudiyathu.

Ennathan Naiku Nalu Kaal Irundhalum
Athaala Kaal Mela Kaal Pottu Ukkara Mudiyathu

10 Yerumbu Oru Yaanaia Kadika Mudium Aana
10 Yaanaila Oru Yerumba Kadika Mudiyadu.

Mandaiya Pota Die
Mandaila Pota Dye

Nee Enna Thaan Costly Mobile Vachiruthalum
Adhula Evalavu Thaan Recharge Pannalum
Unnaala Unnaku Call Panna Mudiyathu

Kosu Kadicha Yaanaikaal Varum But
Yaanai Kadicha Kosukaal Varathu

Valkaikum Valukaikum Orea Vithyasam
Onnumae Illatha Valkai Bore Adikum
Onnumae Illatha Valukai Glare Adikum

Policesikkum Porukikkum enna Vithyasam
"Adi-Thadi" Senja Porukki
"Thadi-Adi" Senja Police

Trainnuku Ticket Vangi Platformla Ukkaralaam Ana
Platform Ticket Vangi Trainla Ukkara Mudiyathu

Ennathan Karatela Black Belt Vanginalum
Naai Thorathina Odi Thaan Aganum

Busla Nee Earunalum
Unnmalae Bus Earunalum
Ticket Vangaporadhu Nee Thaan

PAAL Kotinna Vera Paal Vaangikkalam
Arisi Kotinna Vera Arisi Vaangikkalam Aana
Thel Kotinna Vera Thel Vanga Mudiyuma?

Ticket Vangitu Ulla Poradu Cinema Theatre
Ulae Poitu Ticket Vangaradu Operation Theatre

Kaakaa Enna Thaan Karuppa Irundalum Adhu Podura Muttai Vellai Thaan
Muttai Enna Thaan Vellaiya Irundalum Athukulae irukura KaakaaKarupp Thaan

Cream Biscuitla Cream Irukkum Anna
Naai Biscuitla Naai Irukathu.

Files’na ukanthu paakanum....
Piles’na paathu ukkaranum..

Ulagam theriyaama valandha avan veguly...
Cricket theriyaama valandha avan ganguly....

Don’t bother about anything… Have nice sleep in the office

I worked for a team leader who never bother about anything and always have fun. I loved to work with him. He never leave us go down at any point of time. He used to sleep in the office in the chair itself. He used to call me to his seat for any technical support required.

1. Sleeping while working

One day he called in the morning and asked me to come to his seat. He went there. He was checking a problem in ERP system and asked me to look into that. We both started looking into that issue deeply. I was thinking some thing and turned and saw him then I got shocked. He was sleeping in his chair itself. He was started sleeping for 2 minutes and working for 2 minutes. I didn’t know what to do?

He had to save a file in his PC. He pressed the save option and popup came. When he was typing the file name, he went for a sleep and also he pressed a button. The system was giving some beep sound, but he didn’t realize that. He was sleeping coolly. After that I took the keyboard and started working on that.

2. Sleeping in the discussion

One day we had a conference call with on-site team about some strategy decisions. Everybody assembled in our project manager room. Our team leader sat behind our project manager. The meeting was started and going on well. On-site person asked a question for our team leader. Our project manager turned back for his answer. He was sleeping coolly. I started laughing inside me. Finally our project manager managed to answer that question.


3. Sleeping in the training

We used to have a project communication call every Monday for 2 hours. Somebody have to talk about project related things (which never help us). We had to attend that meeting because of our project manager. Our team leader is a Finance functional guy. He doesn’t need to know about the technical (like Oracle, SQL server, Power builder, ASP and etc). Project manager asked our team leader also to attend that meeting. He refused to attend, but our project manager did not leave him. I also used to skip that meeting if I get a chance.

One day our team leader came for that meeting. That day the session was about Oracle SQL quires. This was not relevant for him. The session was started and going on. After 15mins we started hearing snoring sound. When I turned back and saw, our team leader was in sound sleep. After this our PM didn’t call him for that meeting.

Karuthamma movie in our native place theater

One day we (two of my friends and me) decided to go for a movie at 9:30am. The movie usually starts at 10am. We had to go about 7km to reach the theater. There are three theaters in my native place called Sankagiri . We decided to go to a theater which was near compare to other two theaters.

We went triples in a TVS-50 motor cycle in a short cut route to reach that theater. We reached there at 10:15am and we saw that Karuthamma movie was going on there (which was released 1 week back at that time) and already the movie was started. We were running to the ticket counter and got the tickets (can go to any class – Lower, Balcony and Box) and went inside.

We got shocked, theater was empty. There were four to five people in lower and three people in balcony and nobody was there in the box. We went to the box and sat there. It was too hot inside. We realized that AC was not running. So we switched on the fan. It was not working and also we were not able to see the movie, it was too bad. We did not know what to do?

We had to spend time till movie ends. I watched that movie in all the directions (sitting, standing and lay down in the chairs). At last the movie interval came. We went outside and had egg bovanda (Which I like) and back to seat. Again we realized that it was too hot. We tried to switch on the fan again. It didn’t work. We broke the switches and turned the fan slides down. After that it was looking like closed hand.

We left from the theater before movie ends and before anybody comes to that place.

Cracker outside classroom in my School

I studied in a government school. When I was studying in my Tenth standard (SSLC), we used to have special classes after school ends. We used to have a break for 15 minutes before the special class starts. That was Deepavali seasons, easily get crackers from any shop.

One day two of my friends bought a cracker (which gives more sound) and long lighter. They tied the cracker at the end of lighter, So that it can crack after 15mins and kept it near the class room window. They fired the lighter before 5 minutes class starts. All the boys knew about this cracker. But girls and staff did not aware of this.

Our staff came inside the class room and started writing in the board. As we expected after 10 minutes the bomb got cracked and smoke came inside the classroom. Our staff put down the book and marker from his hand because of this unexpected shock. All girls also were shocked. Immediately our friends went out to search the person who kept the cracker there. Obviously we knew that nobody will be there .

We have named that staff as “Don’t talk”. He used to say this all times.

New Ganguly Joke

Ganguly as kaipullai and Chappel as kattadurai:


Manager : " Thala, thala, test match'layum ungalukku idam illannu
sollittaru antha chappel ... "
Ganguly : " Yenakku rivitu adikkirathey chappel'ukku velaya poyiduchu...
Innaikku board meetingla mudivu panrenda ... Intha ganuly'a antha
chappela'nu...Yeduda bat'a, maattuda helmet'a "

[ Ganguly and his troup is on the way to board meeting ]

Public : " Ayyayo... ganguly bat'a yeduthutu kelambittarey.. Innaikku
yethana six adika poraro theriyalaye !!!!!!! "

[ Before entering into the meeting hall, he put the bat horizontaly on the
floor and starts to speak ]

Ganguly : " Intha bat'a thaandi neengalum vara kodaathu... naanum vara
matten... paetchu.. paetcha than irukkanum... Yenakku test match'la kaltha
koduthavan yevan ? "
Chap : " Come here and plz speak louder "
Ganguly : " Naan anga vara maten.. yennoda mgr varuvan .. avan kitta solli
vidu.... "
Mgr : " sari.. thala... Yaarudaa yenga thalaya oram kattinathu "
Ganguly : " Hai, greg, nee oru nalla cricketera iruntha, yenakku oru BOUNCER
podu parpom"

[ Chappel bowls at Ganguly @ 200km per hour... Ganguly's fore finger is wounded
and bat handle is broken ]

Ganguly : " Naan accept panren.. nee oru nalla coach'nu naan accept panren..
next meet panren..

[ Now Ganguly is surronded by the board members ]

Ganguly : " Ungala yellam partha yenakku paavama irukku .. ithu varaikkum
yentha matchlayum naan duck adichathu illa ..."
Chap : " Pona seriesla thane yella matchlayum nee duck adicha ..."
Ganguly : " Athu pona seriesla... naan solrathu intha seriesla... Ippo net
practice panna poren.. aanaa team'uku thirumbi ............"
Chap : " thirumbi ......... ?????? "
Ganguly : " vara mattenu solla vanthen...... "

Chap : " Listen ... 2007la nadaka pora yentha matchlayum unakku rivit thaan.. "
Ganguly : " Venaaam... "
Chap : " Bangalesh kooda nadakura matchla kooda nee 13th man thaan "
Ganguly : " Venaaam...."
Chap : " Local county matchla kooda nee.. super sub'ku yedu pudi thaan "
Ganguly : " valikkuthu..... "
Chap : " avalavu yen... street cricketla vilayada kooda unakku aappu thaan..."
Ganguly : " Aluthuduven.... aluthuduven...."

[ Eventually Ganguly returned to home... on the way.... ]

Public : " adengappa... ganulyoda bat handley udanchi poiduchina !!!!!!!...
bowling panninavan ini teamla iruppangra... ???? "
Ganguly : " innumum intha ooru namala nambikittu irukaadaa .... ???? "
Mgr : " Athu avanga thala vithi... thala..."

Thiruvilayadal in IT

Thiruvilayadal in IT era (for those who know tamil)
Thiruvilaiyadal in IT Era !!!

ACT ONE EXT. (A street in Madhurai DownTown.)

Naattu makkalukkoar narchcheidhi!!!!! Namadhu paandiya mannarukku
yaerppattulla sandhegaththai theerththu vaikkak koodiya C program-i
yezhudhik kondu varum programmerukku aayiram american dollargal
parisaagaalikkappadum.

DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM

Tharumi comes from inside the crowd in an effort to hear the thing clearly.

Thar (to the guy on elephant) : Yevvalavu?? aayiram america dollaraa? Guy
on elephant : Amaam..aayiram americadollargal.

Tharumi could not control himself. He begins to talk with himself.
________

ACT TWO INT. (In Temple)
Conv between Tharumi and Sivan(In Casuals)

Tharu : yaaru..yenkittayaevaa..yenkittayaevaa..yenkittayae modhap
paakkiriyaa... naan aalu paakkaraththukku sumaaraadhaan iruppaen. aanaa
yen programming paththi unakkuth theriyaadhu.
thayaaraa iru
Sivan : Appadiyae.Kelvigalai nee kaetkiraayaa alladhu naan
kaetkattumaa?

Tharu : ah..naanae kaekkaraen. yenakku kaekkadhaan theriyum. mmm...

(The famous question answer session.)
Tharu : Pirikka mudiyaadhadhu yennavo?
Sivan : Body shoppingum commisionum
Tharu : Saerndhae iruppadhu?
Sivan : Windowsum buggum
Tharu : Sollakkoodadhadhu?
Sivan : Clientidam unmai
Tharu : Sollak koodiyadhu?
Sivan : Seminaril poigal
Tharu : Code-kku azhagu?
Sivan : Comment-udan iruppadhu
Tharu : Comment-enap paduvadhu?
Sivan : Puriyaadhiruppadhu
Tharu : OS-ukku?
Sivan : Unix
Tharu : Language-kku?
Sivan : C
Tharu : Offsite-ukku?
Sivan : Nee
Tharu : Onsite-ukku?
Sivan : Naan.
Tharu : Ayya aala vidu.
Tharumi falls at Sivan's feet and recovers himself.
Tharu : Ayya..Neer programmer.
Sivan : Nee..
Tharu : Illai.Naan programmer illai. Yengae andhap programme-ik
kodungal.
Mannar yenna kodukkiraro adhai appadiyae ungalidam koduththu
vidugiraen.
Neer paarththu yaedhavadhu seyyum.
Sivan hands over a floppy to Tharumi.
---------

ACT THREE INT.(Palace of Pandiya Mannan)
Tharu hands over the Floppy to Pandiyan.
Pandiyan gives it to the Data entry operator sitting just below him. The
operator puts that floppy in his pc,copies the content to C drive
and opens the file in the editor.
#include<##stdio.h
void main()
{
a *3;
printf("%d\n",a);
}

Paandi is excited.

Pandi : Aha... arumaiyaana logic. Aazhndha syntax. Theerndhadhu
sandhegam.

Tharu : Manna ..Parisu.

Pandi : Yaar angae...Aayiram america dollargalai yeduththu vaarungal.

Tharu : (within his mind) Modhalla indha CD-kaaran kadana
theeththudanum..
The prize arrives.

Tharumi is all set to receive it.

Nakkeeran : Manna..Satrup porungal. Programmer-ae satru ippadi
varugireeraa?
Tharu : Mudiyaadhu..Parisai vaangik konduthaan varuvaen. manna podu.

Nak : Adhildhaan prachchinai irukkiradhu.
Tharumi goes to Nakkeeran.

Tharu : Vandhaen.Yennayya prachchianai?

Nak : Indhap programme-i yezhudhiyadhu neerdhaanae?

Tharu : Naan..Naan..Naanedhaan yezhudhinaen. Pinna Internet-landhu
download pannikkitta vandhaen? Yennudayadhudhaan Yennudayadhudhaan
Yennudayadhedhaan ayya.

Nak : Appadiyaanaal adhai compile seidhu vittu,piragu parisaip petruch
chellalaamae.

Tharu : Mannarukkae vilangi vittadhu,idaiyil neer yenna.Manna!!naan romba
kashtappadugiraen, ivar veru compile seiyach cholgiraar.

Meanwhile Nakkeeran compiles the program. It gives an error message : "a
not defined".

Nak : Sariyaana oru programukku yem mannavan parisalikkiraar yendraal
adhaik kandu sandhoshappadum mudhal manidhan naandhaan.

Adhe samayam,Ken
thompson-um,Dennis ritchie-um kattik kaaththa indha software
thiruchchabaiyilae,thavaraana oru programukku pandian parisalikkiraan
yendraal adhaik kandu varuththap padubhavanum naandhaan.
---------------

ACT FOUR (Entry Sivan)
Sivan : (To Nakkeeran) Yengu kutram kandeer? Syntax-ila alladhu
logic-ilaa??

Nakke : Logic-il kutram illai.Irundhaalum adhu compile aagi vidum
Syntax-ildhaan kutram irukkiradhu.

Sivan : Yenna kutram?

Nakke : Yengae umadhu program-ik koorum.
Sivan :
#includevoid main()
{
a *3;
printf("%d\n",a);
}

Nakke : Idhan porul??
Sivan : padhinmoondraiyum,moondraiyum perukki a yendra variable-il
vaikkiraen. Piragu a-vai print seigiraen.

Nakke : Idhan moolam thaangal mannarukku solla virumbhuvadhu?

Sivan : haha..Puriyavillai. int a; yengira declaration thevai illai
yenbadhu yemadhu mudivu.

Nakke : Orukkaalum irukka mudiyaadhu. Mudhalilae declare seivadhanaal
mattumae oru variable-i use panna mudiyumae thavira, declare pannaamal
use panna mudiyaadhu.

Sivan : C++ -ilum appadiththaanoe?

Nakke : Aam.

Sivan : Java-vil?

Nakke : Java yenna...Yellaa high level language-ilum appadiththaan.

Oru variable-i declare seidha piragae use panna mudiyumae alladhu
declare seiyaamal alla.

Sivan : Umadhu project managerukkum appadiththaanoe?

Nakke : Project manager yenna..naan andraadam vazhipadum Kerniganukku
idappakkam amarndhirukkiraanae,Ritchie,avanukkum adhae vidhip padiththaan.

Sivan : Nichchayamaaga?
Nakke : Nichchayamaaga

Sivan : Umadhu software pulamaiyin meedhu aanaiyaaga?
Nakke : Yenadhu software consultancy meedhu aanaiyaaga.

Sivan : Allum pagalum Mainframe-il velai seidhu,Y2K bug-i sari seiyyum
Keeranoe yen C program-i aaraaindhu sollaththakkavan?

Nakke : Y2K solve seivadhu yengal velai. Bodyshopper-ukkaedhu velai.
COBOL-il yezhudhugirome...andri un poal Syntax-il thappu seivadhillai.
Sivan : Nakkeeraa....Yennai nandraagap paar...... (FLASH...) Naan
yezhudhiya C program kutramaa?

Nakke : Neerae ANSI standard-um aaguga. Variable declare seiyaadhadhu
kutramae. Harddisk-i yerippinum kutram kutramae..
Sivan burns the harddisk of Nakkeeran's pc.


Pandi : Iraivaa.... Pizhai poruththarula vaendum, Senior system
analyst Nakkeerarin harddisk-i recover seidhu arula vaendum.

Sivan is very BIG now.

Sivan : Pandiyane.... Nakkeeranin harddisk ippodhae recover aagum... The
harddisk reappears.

Nakke : Unix-um neeyae..Windows-um neeyae C -um neeyae...Java-vum neeyae
Variable-um neeyae.... Constant-um neeyae...

"Vazhga Thamizhagam Valarga Programming"

Ganguly and Kaipullai

Irfan's Kavithai

Alagula nee amirkhaan...
Odambula nee salmaankan...
Speedla nee zaheer kkan...
Mothathula nee yenga sharukhan...

Gajini and Ganguly

Anniyan : 5 run adicha thappa
Ganguly: thappu illenga.
Ann: 5 matchla 5 run adicha thappa
Gang: thappu mathiri thaanga theriyuthu
Ann: 5 varusham 55 matcha 5 run adicha
Gang: Periya thappungaAnn: Athathaanda nee aadra ovvoru matchliyum nadakuthu

Gajini Dialogue

Thannambikkai-kum thalaiganathukkum oru nool allavu thaan vithiyaasam...
ennnala full adichittu steadya nikka mudiyumnu solrathu thannambikkai -
ennnala mattum thaan..... full adichittu steadyaaa nikka mudiyummnu solrathu thalaiganam...

Kastappattu koodicha raw-va sarakku adikka mudiyathu.
Ishtappattu koodicha thaan raw-va sarakku adikka mudiyum.
Adikara thaniyea virumbi adippom...

Anniyan

Anniyan : 5 email forward pannina thappa...
IT guy : Onnum thappu illenga
Anniyan : 5 latcham peru 5 email forward pannina thappa...
IT guy : Thappu maathiri thaanga therriyuthu
Anniyan : 5 latcham peru 5 latcham thadava 5 email forward pannina thappa
IT guy : Periya thappu thaanga...
Anniyan : Atha thaanda neenga ellam pannikitu irukkenga...vetti pasangala...poi velaya parunga
da...

- Kumbeebaagam